Toby, you asked me a question this evening that took me a bit aback. Not because the question shocked me but because it was about something I didn’t think you even understood. You asked me this:
“When I’m grown up, do you think I’ll be married to a lady, single or gay?”
I answered you that you would probably be whatever made you happy. To that you answered:
“I’m just really worried about being single.”
I didn’t go back to the sexuality bit because that didn’t seem to be the focus of your question. Your worry was about ending up alone so we talked about that. I thought that I’d better cover sexuality in a post though because it will be something you face when you are older, one way or another.
Sexuality is not a choice and it is no-one’s business apart from yours. Both myself and your dad want you to live a happy life and that means being true to who you are. Your sexuality doesn’t matter one bit to us and it won’t matter to anyone else who truly loves you either.
We’ve always been careful not to say “when you’ve got a wife” or other things that might unintentionally make you feel that we expect you to turn out in a particular way. You will be surrounded by these messages from elsewhere but please notice that you never had them from us. If you don’t happen to be gay, but have friends who are, make sure they know that you support them. They might be struggling with people who just don’t understand and that can be difficult.
And Matilda, all of this goes for you too. It is just that Toby brought it up today!
Just be yourselves and be happy. That is all we have ever wished for you.