Thank you for the chaos

Hi both,

Well it has been a while since I posted last. The end of last term was characterised by its usual disorganised rush and then we spent the first half of the holiday doing lots of fun things. This week though you have been away for a few days because we have had to work and we decided that you would have more fun elsewhere. We do our best to give you different experiences and to bring you up to be independent so it seemed the right thing to do.

Anyway, despite the fact that I have been busy, the experience of having you not here has been an interesting one. I spend my whole life cursing the muddy footprints in the house, constant demands for food, the noise and sibling squabbles. I sometimes long for a bit of peace and quiet and the opportunity to tidy the house and not have it immediately untidied again.

This week, though, I’ve missed those things. I’ve had no clothes to pick up off the floor, or spilled drinks to mop up. I haven’t had to step into your arguments as judge and jury. The house has been unnervingly quiet. The other day when I was in the bath, I thought I heard you falling out in the background and then realised it was my imagination playing tricks on me because there were no children in the house. It made me all upset.

I’ve got enough self awareness to know that the grass is always greener on the other side. When I moan about all the little issues that having children brings to our lives, I know deep down that I would never have it any other way. This week has been a brilliant reminder though.

So thank you for the chaos. Thank you for every day that is filled with its challenges and demands. Thank you for the noise, the stress and the feeling of being alive. One day our house will be tidy, quiet and empty.

I don’t want those days to come.