It has been a while since I wrote. I’ve had a couple of really busy weeks at work although that should not be an excuse. I’ve not had anywhere near enough time for the two of you beyond the absolute essentials of daily life. I’m sorry about that as I always am. That is why I am taking a sneaky break from work to write this.
Anyway, I realise what I have just said is not totally right. I have been spending time doing some art with both of you. It has been a stressful couple of weeks and I’ve discovered that drawing helps me relax. More about that in a bit.
Those people who know us well know that we are good friends of the Teardrop Fairies. They first started visiting when you were really little and were dropping little glass hearts or teardrops in the garden to let you know that they had visited. This has gone on for years now and we have spent many hours as a family hunting for them and getting really excited when we find a rare colour. One day maybe you will get too old for this, but for now the tradition continues, especially when we are out on a walk or on holiday.
Anyway, I have been drawing pictures of the Teardrop Fairies and I posted a couple of them on Facebook as my profile photograph. When I did this I found that a few people didn’t really like them. I got a couple of comments from people saying that they made them sad or emotional. A couple of other people commented to me that they loved them because of the emotion that was in them. It made me think about sadness and why people have such different reactions to it.
Sadness is a fact of life. It is essential. Without sadness you can’t fully appreciate the good times and how fortunate you are. It can be a sharp reminder of what matters in your life and it can be an expression of love. Sometimes, when someone you love is gone, sadness can feel like one of the few things left we can give them. To be honest, I don’t think I’d want to be without it for all of those reasons and more. What would a world without sadness be like? Have a think about that one day when you get the time.
Now, I have done no scientific research on this but I have observed a lot of people and I have a theory. Apologies for making generalisations here because I know there are always exceptions to the rule. So here is my theory…
Sadness brings out the depth in people. People who have experienced the deepest of grief or the emptiness of severe loneliness have a dimension to them that that others sometimes lack. Often (not always) people who have had a life where everything has gone right, get trapped in the superficial. They spend their lives thinking about things that don’t really matter. Have a look around you and see if you think I am right.
People in life might try to stop you being sad. They mean well and it is fine to cheer someone up, but you should never try and prevent people from working through their emotions. If you ever come across someone who is unhappy, I suggest that you ask them how they want you to help. It might be that they want a distraction, or cheering up, but equally offer to let them be sad in your company. If they want to speak about things, let them. Don’t make them feel guilty or embarrassed about it.
If you need to, you should give yourself permission to feel sad. That doesn’t mean spend your whole life wallowing in it. You won’t get much done that way and people certainly won’t want to spend a lot of time around you. But if you need a good cry from time to time allow yourself to do it. And remember that the Teardrop Fairies are out there somewhere, waiting to collect your tears…